Those Teen Years

As my granddaughters enter the teen years, I pray for my daughter and daughter-in-law. I remember all too well how trying those times are. One minute, they are happy, and they love you so much. The next minute, you are the worst, and they are saying, “You hate me!” —and, worse, “I hate you!” Big emotions prevail. I was a wreck during those years and cried to myself frequently. Going to my workplace and working with the nine-year-olds who loved me was my saving grace. I know I became a lot smarter again when they were around 25, and again when I became a grandma to their children.

Living with teen girls is not for the weak. Many words between mother and teen are spoken out of anger, mainly due to raging hormones. The teen years are filled with lots of moodiness and conflict. Sometimes there is just nothing you can do but leave them alone. Most teens I know are so hard on themselves. Teens are unsure of who they are. Their bodies are changing at a rapid pace. They are growing up and learning to problem-solve with “friends” who are going through the same stage and facing the same issues, therefore, being mean to each other. Moms are the teens’ safe space many times, and that allows them to vent and let out much venom they are feeling. It is THE toughest period of life in my book.

How does one deal with teens when they are hurting you so much by how they speak and ways they act during this period of time? Unfortunately, there are not too many ways and nothing works every single time. Pray that you have instilled the values you want them to have throughout life as they grew up to make it to this stage. Pray that they make the best decisions. Only offer advice when they ask. Sometimes saying nothing is better if you can read their body language. Let them make mistakes (within reason) even if it hurts you to see it. They will learn more by that mistake than they ever will by you telling them it is not a good idea. Do something nice for them without saying a word. Let them know you care and are there for them if they need you. Just ask, “Do you need to talk?” if you sense that. If they choose not to, do not pry. TRY to stay CALM. The teen years are a test of your internal control!

This is one period of time I would not want to go back to, quite honestly. Yes, there were good times during this stage; however, the turmoil of emotions left me raw. Sometimes, I thought to myself, does God let you go through this period of time to make it easier to let go when they reach full independence from you?

Through all of this, just love them. Every. Single. Day. Know that this stage will not last forever.

Later…